all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
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I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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