Can Purell be used as lube?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
