I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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