I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
its liver damage thursday
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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