no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
