ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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