And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
