I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
