I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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