Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
