Barsexuality is the new black.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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