I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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