I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
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