Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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