He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
