I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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