eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
