i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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