It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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