he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
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You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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