Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
