just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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