tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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