maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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