My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
