I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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