yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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