Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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