in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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