Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
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