ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he puts the penis in happiness.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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