i wish peter jackson would direct porn
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
