Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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