Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
