i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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