just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
