i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize