Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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