When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
