So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
