when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
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It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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