People in love make me want to vomit
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
