The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
