My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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