I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
