I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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