i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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