I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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