Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
