accomplished twins. life is a go
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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