Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
