the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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