Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
