I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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