there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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