I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
